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Episode 026: How Control Is Preventing You From Getting Everything You Want Part 2

By Rodney Washington

Episode 026: How Control Is Preventing You From Getting Everything You Want Part 2

Create A Creative Business That Celebrates Your Ideal Life

Today’s episode is sponsored by my brand new roadmap – 57 Ways To Monetize Your Gifts and Create True Security For Yourself! Includes access to four bonus templates called the Creative Entrepreneurs Path to Cash and map your journey to an ideal business that celebrates the life you want to live.

Download your free roadmap today at getpaidforyourcreativity.com/57waysgift

Episode 026 Show Notes

I’d like to start this episode with a quote that inspired the topic of today’s show…
“When your actions contradict your words… your words don’t mean anything”

If you listened to Episode 025 of the podcast then you already know that I talked about how the need to control our outcome can actually prevent us from getting everything we want.

If you missed it, you’ll find the link here on the show notes page

So if you recall in that episode I spoke about being addicted to control, why we do it and what we’re really saying when we can’t release the need to know how things are going to work out before we take action and what I said was this…

“I can’t handle any setback if things don’t work out the way I’m hoping”

That perceived inability to handle whatever may come, be it a disappointment, loss of money or things just plain not working out as we want is greater than any possible reward we might hope to gain.

So if that’s the space you’re operating from and you’re tired of struggling to get yourself to take consistent action then keep listening because what I’m going to talk about today I believe is going to bring everything I shared in episode 025 full circle.

Now, before I dive deeper into this topic I want to take a moment and share how and I learned many of these concepts I’m going to talk about today.

If you listened to episode 25 then you may recall my talking about a man by the name of Jim Fortin.

If you don’t know who he is you soon will because I have a feeling I’m going to be referencing his teachings quite a lot in future episodes of this podcast. As a matter of fact, I hope to have him on the show but until then here is a brief introduction.

Jim is an international subconscious self-transformation and high-performance expert with over two decades of expertise in brain-based transformation and high performance

He’s also a certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and a certified Master Hypnotist and has a podcast called the Jim Fortin Podcast.

He just completed the launch of his free series “Be Do Have – Transform From The Inside Out” leading up to his signature program The Transformational Coaching Program.

If he runs the series again, I highly suggest getting on his waitlist.

I don’t have a direct link for the show notes but if you subscribe to his podcast (which I highly suggest you do) I’m sure he’ll tell you how to get on before his program reopens in spring 2020.

In the meantime, I’m going to reference one episode in particular that I feel will give you an even deeper perspective on the focus of today’s show.

I was looking for inspiration for this podcast episode when I stumbled on this quote

“When your actions contradict your words… your words don’t mean anything”

And I want to invite you to ponder those words for a few moments because there’s so much power in them.

At its core what this quote is saying is that my actions speak louder than words

The term self-integrity really resonated with me when I was first introduced to Jim as he was being interviewed by James Wedmore of the Mind Your Business podcast.

The link that episode is available in the show notes.

According to Fortin, when we allow ourselves to BE who we need to BE, we will DO the things we need to DO in order HAVE the things and experiences we want in life.

His concept is simple and for some, it can take a minute to wrap our minds around, some might even accuse it as sounding a bit “woo-woo” but if you sit with it for a minute the concept is really quite profound.

According to Fortin, we don’t get what we do, we get who we BE

I’ll use myself as an example to illustrate,

Before I launched this podcast I said to myself, “I’m only going to do this if I can commit to publishing at least one episode per week no matter what and since I started I’ve only missed one week.

Now, I’m going to be candid and transparent here

At the time I’m recording this I’m not getting a ton of downloads on this podcast – at least not yet

And as such it would be very easy for me to say, “Oh, it’s okay I can skip this week because I’m not getting that many listeners”

But here’s the deal, even if you listening to my words at this very moment don’t know that

I know it!

So if I’m going to have a successful podcast that eventually gets thousands, even millions of downloads I’ve got to show up.

I have a quote “Show up until they catch up” and it’s true, it would be very easy for me to blow off producing this show but I do it because I’m committed, I’m committed because I know my why and I know my why because I know who I am and what I want.

I love to teach and share ideas and I know I can best do that through the power of my voice,

I’m not a video guy (at least not yet) but until I can muster the courage I know I can speak into a microphone and hopefully share something or someone who will inspire you to go for your dreams so you can eventually be paid for your creativity.

So back to the topic of self-integrity

If I can’t keep my word to myself then what’s the point?

Because I can tell you from personal experience there’s a lot of things I’ve said I was going to do and yes, I’m putting myself on blast here – and I haven’t always followed through

I’m sharing this because perhaps as you listening to my words right now perhaps you might recognize some of me in your experience

For example, how long have you put off getting started on a creative project, or start only to hit the pause button a few days or weeks later?

How many times have you said to yourself before bed you’re going to get up at a certain time only to find yourself hitting the snooze button over and over again?

Later bounding out of bed way later than you said you were going to wake up, then spend the day beating yourself up for not doing what you said?

I know you can’t see me right now but if you could I’ve got my hand raised because this has been one of my biggest struggles getting out of bed when I say I’m going to.

At the end of the day, all of this boils down to self-integrity and keeping your word to yourself because here’s what happens when we don’t keep our word to ourselves

We slowly chip away at our self-esteem and self-worth and I’m 55 years old, soon to be 56 and I’m just now getting this and this is what I’ve been learning and becoming more aware of listening to Jim Fortin.

In episode 025 of the podcast, I shared an example of a writer wanting to finally write a book I said If you can only manage to write 100 words a day at the end of 30 days that’s 3000 words and the end of a year that’s a whopping 36,000 words!

Now I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a book to me, even if you can only manage to write for 10 minutes here and there that’s still a heck of a lot better than waiting for everything in life to be perfect before you start because trust me, perfect circumstances will never happen.

So… if you tell yourself you’re going to write just 10 minutes a day, but then perhaps you miss a day, then two days, soon it’s a week

How long do you think it’s going to be before you say to yourself, “Oh, I didn’t want to write a book anyway”

That’s an example of lack of self-integrity now can see how if you continue the pattern how it slowly chips away at your self-esteem and self-worth?

Now there are many reasons why we don’t keep our word to ourselves, even when it’s something we really want to do and Jim Fortin talks about it in great depth on EPISODE 23: “What To Do When You’re Not Motivated And Want To Be” of his podcast.

At minute 6:40 he specifically talks about how self-integrity can keep you on track so give that a listen and just before that he talks about why commitment most often needs to precede motivation.

As you recall I just spoke about commitment earlier in regards to this podcast, I said it would be very easy for me to blow off producing this show because it takes several hours for me to put it together and I’m not getting very many downloads

But I do it because I’m committed!

BEing Committed trumps motivation

And when you’re committed it’s much easier for you to be self integral

I’ll close with one final quote on the subject of commitment by William Hutchison Murray

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

Resources Mentioned In Today’s Show:
Jim Fortin Podcast
Mind Your Business by James Wedmore (Links to a specific interview James did with Jim)
Episode 025: How Control Prevents You From Getting Everything You Want

EPISODE 4: “The Biology of Fear” by Transformation Coach Jim Fortin **Highly Recommended**

Episode Bonus 024: Key #7 from 57 Ways To Monetize Gifts

So if you enjoyed this episode and it inspired you in some way, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram Stories and tag me! @createaproneurpodcast

I’d also love if you subscribed to the podcast and left a review at http://getpaidforyourcreativity.com/itunespodcast

Lastly, I want to invite you to help contribute to this podcast by submitting a question for the Listener Question of the Week edition of Create A Proneur Podcast. All you have to do is go to http://getpaidforyourcreativity.com/QA and record a question (under 3 minutes or less) that could be featured on an upcoming episode!

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